Asperger and dating
Online forums such as Mumsnet are bursting with threads from exasperated wives lamenting that their DH (darling husband) stays up all night reading programming books, or when he is stressed, says one disgruntled spouse, lying in bed eating pretzels (and it has to be a particular kind of pretzel) in silence.
Many cases, according to the NAS, never receive a formal diagnosis – largely because it can be hard to know where maleness ends and AS begins.
Professor Simon Baron-Cohen, Britain’s leading authority on autism, argues that all autism is, in fact, just varying degrees of ‘having an extreme male brain’, which emphasises systemising over empathising (an extreme female brain would do the opposite, and a ‘balanced brain’ would do both equally).
Good news, ladies – we don’t need to feel angry when he doesn’t ‘sense’ that we’ve had a bad day and shoo us off to have a hot bath while he gets the supper ready. And while my ex-husband definitely does not have AS, there were times in our marriage when I did puzzle over his detached behaviour: such as when he went off on a golf weekend with a friend who was on the brink of becoming engaged to a long-term girlfriend.
I spent the entire weekend eagerly waiting for news of if and when the long-awaited proposal was going to transpire, but on his return, my husband just said: ‘Sorry, I forgot to ask.’ once the case.
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