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He was raised by an oil field worker and a housewife, though his “house” was boarding houses, and they’d lived as transiently as Okies. He’s instinctively fair, impartial and enough older than me that he was a young man and not an adolescent when feminists demanded equal work, equal pay and equal domestic responsibilities.He never reconsidered the rightness of any of this, not even during the 1980s-era backlash when I did. The other ate at the best restaurants in the city and read Orhan Pamuk.
So it’s hard for a woman with ambition to meet someone with whom to share more than sex and the talk that’s all mood-calibration.
Once you hit a certain professional level, the number of men who feel comfortably equal shrinks, first subtraction. If you’ve got a past you won’t hide—an extended family more like the cast of “Duck Dynasty” than John Cheever’s characters—next subtraction. My conflict resolved the way it does in old-fashioned novels, with a bit of deus ex machina: an unexpected plot twist that solves an otherwise unsolvable problem.
An acquaintance convinced her friend, a man, and me, a woman, that we should meet.
She gave us each other’s contact information so we could fail or succeed in private.
Debra Monroe is the author of six books, including the memoir, "My Unsentimental Education," which, in the words of Rosellen Brown, “raises a dozen potent question about what has changed for a generation of women not so much disillusioned but unillusioned about what it means to ‘live like a man.’” Her essays have been published in the New York Times, The American Scholar, Guernica, The Morning News, and more.