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A man who lives naked and afraid in a barn, eats hay and oats, and poops about a million times a day. That eerie laughter you hear in the distance is your soul turning to the dark side. K., now that I’ve fired up thousands of good horse chicks around the country with this article, please know that I won’t have much time to read your angry responses and fiery name-calling; I’ll probably be at the barn helping my beautiful horse chick wife of 13 years diligently prepare for her next show.