"Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in." The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated.
" "Yes, sir," replied the young guy, "but my friend back there, well, he don't have one." Jesus is watching you One night a burglar is trying to break into a house. So now the burglar is really looking around, and he sees a parrot in a cage by the side of the house. " The parrot answers "Yes I did." So the burglar asks, "What's your name? Q : How can you tell a blonde has been in the bathroom? God answered: A million years is like a minute. Then the man asked: God, how much is a million dollars to you?
He's sneaking across the lawn when he hears a voice - "Jesus is watching you! " The parrot says "Clarence." The burglar says "What kind of stupid idiot would name his parrot Clarence? A : There is make-up all over the mirror Q : What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? And God replied: A million dollars is like a penny. Finally, the man asked: God, could you give me a penny? Why do they put braille on the number pads of drive-through teller machines?
Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell. After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath, so the Game Warden finally caught up to him. "Well, son," said the Game Warden, "you must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! They don't understand how to get the 2 quarts of water into the little package. What did the blonde say to her boyfriend after he blew in her ear? The brunette pointed and said look a dead bird the blonde looked up and asked, "where?? Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: It was a bill for $100 for a consultation!
You don't have to run from me if you have a valid license! Heaven can wait A man trying to understand the nature of God asked him: God, how long is a million years to you? If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon to the pan? How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you? " Neighbors in Montana A sucessful business man became disenchanted with the stress of the fast life in the big city and decides to chuck it all. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendants' fault..was the asphalt!